bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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