I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
