And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
