He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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