Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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