Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
they're like a gay fantastic four
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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