either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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