physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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