She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
