so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
