me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
