You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
