i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize