bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
