Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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