Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There r osticjed everywhere
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
