I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
