I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
