And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
