did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.