This girl is more easily done than said...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?