Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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