3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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