Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
