I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
