She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize