WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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