you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
