my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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