it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
