There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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