I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
