Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
