i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
