I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
