If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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