ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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