My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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