So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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