my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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