ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize