I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
