Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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