Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
