so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
