I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
