Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
