Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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