Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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