some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
