the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize