**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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