I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
