Don't you send me to vm
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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