I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My first STD was from a foam party
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize