where does the pee come out of this thing
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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