flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
