Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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