i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Panties = found
Randomize
