so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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