yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
