I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
