I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
